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Marichasana D

Wow! Wow! Wow!

I'm almost binding all by myself! And I feel so happy, and empowered, and excited and strong!
(not that I'm getting attached....cause that's bad. No attachment to progress...*coughcough*)

The way Matt has been pushing us is starting to really show through in what I can now accomplish on my own. I haven't learned any new poses since he arrived, but my improvement in confidance and strength has been amazing.

These last couple of days he's really been at me about my gaze, but successfully 'gazing toward the nose' remains quite elusive. No matter how hard I try, when I attempt to gaze in the right spot, I invariably endup being half cross-eyed. ...I suppose just like anything else the secret is going to turn out to be lying in not trying as hard, but I'm still a stage or two away from that epiphany on this one.

Great to be back anyway :).

Pictures from India

So the first batch of pictures have arrived home from my teachers in India. I have to admit this was my personal favourite:


Melon-eating Cow

...anyway, I'm back at yoga tomorrow morning after a moon-day monday and then ladies holiday. Verrrrrry excited to be going back, my knees have not been enjoying the time off.

Learning more, from more teachers

Yesterday Matt's mom taught us, while Matt practiced with us. This was enjoyable on a couple of levels.

Firstly, part of what I love so much about learning under Paul and Rachelle, is that they split the time in half, each taking turns teaching, and practicing. So we get to see them in their own practice, as well as seeing them as teachers. This helps to enforce the importance of practice as a continual part of life, and to remind us that our teachers have been through most of what we've been through on the mat. ...so it's good to get a chance, now and again, to practice alongside Matt as well.

It was also amazing to see his mom as a teacher. Matt is a second-generation yogi. His parents were among Guruji's first students, back (as his mom says) when "yoga was almost a cult kind of thing".

I noticed her first about a week ago. Of course, when practicing, it's ideal to keep your focus on your practice...but I couldn't help but notice this woman, with white hair, flowing through the poses with more grace than I'd ever seen anyone but Paul, Rachelle, and Matt do before. At the time I didn't have a clue who she was...but I wanted to know immediately. It was a couple of days before I ended up in a conversation after practice when it came out that she was staying with Matt (whom she hadn't seen in a number of years) for most of his time in Toronto, to help him out (as running a Shala alone is quite a task).

I've always wanted to be rockclimbing in my 70s, or to live by a lake, and have a little sculling boat, and row every morning as the sun rises...I'm not really attracted to the idea of getting old, but if I do I want to be one of those people that you can never really figure out how old they are exactly (all things considered).

That's what this woman is like. Her white hair implies she's quite old, but only because I live in a place where everyone dies their hair until they hit at least sixty, and she doesn't seem like the type to bother with that. Her face looks young, and her eyes are bright.

As a yoga instructor she had this amazing ability, as well, to adjust me by just laying her hands on me. Somehow she didn't have to push me into anything, or say what she wanted me to change, just by placing her hands on my ribs, I knew she wanted me focusing on my breath...etc (very odd feeling).

Once again, I'm amazed at what a positive experiance it has been to work with other teachers, and what new perspectives it is giving me. I can't wait to travel to Mysore myself...what a powerful experiance that would have to be.

This yoga is really fascinating stuff.

On the topic, of teaching yoga, and what it means (especially in today's world of yoga as a fad), check out Paul's blog (on Teusday Oct 11th)..very insightful.

Caution vs. Fear

I knew enough about the body, without yoga, to know that pushing your body using caution, and acceptance of its limitations, will gently and slowly allow you to reach powerful new heights. ...but that if you become afraid of injury, you will tense up, and are almost guaranteed to hurt yourself exactly in the way you are afraid of.

Over the last few days of my practice, however, my caution and acceptance with regards to my left knee has turned into an intense fear of injuring it. As always my knees are sensitive right now with the weather changing, but during practice I am making matters much worse by focusing so intensly on it that my body is unable to heal itself....

Does anyone have any brilliant insight into how to calm your mind back down off the edge, and bring that cautious acceptance back?

Surrendering

Today's practice was wonderful. I actually got to bed early enough, that I woke up a half an hour or so before my alarm went off. Getting to drift back to sleep lightly for another 20 minutes or so is one of my favourite things in the world. I got up finally around six, made my morning shake, and headed out the door.

It was noticably darker this morning than earlier in the week (although I have to admit I was about 15 minutes earlier getting out the door which probably made a differance), but in the end that just added to the very relaxed feel at the Shala. Matt has been keeping the music lower than Paul and Rachelle usually did, and whispers to us when instructing...so the overall feel is much more quiet (almost surreal) than before.

It's been fascinating for me to experiance a new teacher. We've often had people stand in for Paul and Rachelle for a day or two, but there's a very differant feel when you know you're going to be with the teacher for a number of months...really adjusting and accepting their way of doing things (amazing that the same style of yoga, could be taught using the same method, and yet feel so differant).

Today, doing Marichasana A, Matt came over to adjust me. He got me much farther into the pose than I would have believed I could get. It made me laugh afterwards though, because he said very softly "Did you feel there, at the end how you gave in another few inches? That's surrendering. Try to let yourself do that rather than fighting against me." I'm not sure why it made me laugh. Just something about how obvious it was that it was silly for me to fight against him, and yet how he made it sound like an earnest suggestion (not to do it that is). I definately like the way he works with us.

Teacher's Leaving Tomorrow...

My teacher's are leaving for India tomorrow morning, and since I'm going to my parents' tonight for my brother's birthday, I won't get to see them again before they go. I have to admit, I was surprised at how hard it was to say 'goodbye'. I will miss them much more than I had realized. Since Paul and Rachelle are leaving so soon everyyyyone has been showing up religiously to practice. Today the room was packed and had a great energy with alot of extra heat to help mold into poses. That many people always makes for a great practice.

Rachelle's "bunda kick" has really been helping me focus on my breath and flow between poses rather than thinking really hard about everything. At this stage though, I'm a long way from actually acheiving the kind of awareness I'm striving toward...it reminds me of skating practice, a year or so before worlds, when I could get little flashes of being in 'the zone' during a set, but was a long way away from being able to perform there consistantly.

Marichasana B and D caused me alot of stress today. I'd been binding in both consistantly for quite a while, but on the first side couldn't even get into B today. This whole set has been very difficult for me with my knees, and (Rachelle tells me) has been inducing very big overall adjustments in my body. This must just be a side effect of these adjustments...hopefully I'll be back in again soon.